One Simple Parenting Habit That Builds Trust

What’s one simple parenting habit that builds trust? 

In this episode, Mandy shares why saying what you mean—and following through—can shape how your kids see you for years to come. When parents are consistent with their words, it builds credibility, respect, and a sense of security in the home. 

She also shares two additional thoughts for parents in the early years, including staying connected in your marriage and staying grounded in your faith. 

This conversation is a reminder that small, everyday moments matter more than we think. 

Look in the Mirror - https://nexttalk.org/podcast_episode/look-in-the-mirror/

We Read the Comments on our Viral Parenting Post - https://nexttalk.org/podcast_episode/we-read-the-comments-on-our-viral-parenting-post/

3 Things Not to Do if you want to Stay Married - https://nexttalk.org/podcast_episode/your-family-is-the-most-important-team-you-will-ever-lead/


Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Transcript

One Core Parenting Rule

Welcome And The Listener Question

Follow Through Builds Credibility

The McDonald’s Story Lesson

Keep Your Marriage Connected

Stay Grounded In Jesus

Instagram Q&A Invite And Support

SPEAKER_01 0:00

If I could give one piece of advice to a young mom, that's what it would be. And this is why. Once you lose credibility with your kids or they lose respect for you, that's hard to repair. Welcome to the Next Talk Podcast. We are a nonprofit passionate about keeping kids safe online. We're learning together how to navigate tech, culture, and faith with our kids. Today on the podcast, I want to share with you a question that I recently got asked. It was so good and it made me kind of pause and think about how I was going to respond to it. We've been doing this new thing over on our Instagram stories where we promote a time. We'll tell you a day ahead of time, hey, tomorrow I'm going to be on stories from this time. You know, it's normally about an hour. And you can ask me anything. And it's been awesome to interact with all of the new people who are finding next talk. And uh I have just loved the questions. So it may be a regular thing that we do. I'm kind of polling people right now to see if they like it or not. Maybe I'm the only one that likes it. I'm not quite sure. But anyway, here's a question I got uh that made me pause. She says, What's one piece of advice you'd give a mom with littles? Okay, the ages of her kids are six, four and a half, and two and a half months. So a baby, guys. And it the oldest is probably school-aged, so probably kindergarten, first grade, somewhere around there. Three things actually came to mind, but she asked me for one piece of advice, and I wanted to kind of stay true to her question and not and not just like give so much information. Um, but here's what I said: if I had to pick one, follow through with what you say. You are setting the foundation now for how your kids view you. You want your words to matter. So if you threaten to take away a toy, if your kid does that again, and your kid actually does that again, you have to take away the toy. If you promise ice cream, get ice cream. Don't say it unless you really mean it and will follow through. If I could give one piece of advice to a young mom, that's what it would be. And this is why. Once you lose credibility with your kids or they lose respect for you, that's hard to repair. Obviously, God can do a miracle, he can repair any relationship, but it's really hard to recover from that. It's extremely important for you to follow through with what you say. Years ago, I will never forget this story. It was me and a bunch of my young mom friends, and our kids were little, they were toddlers running around, and we had just finished our mops meeting. Now, for those of you who don't know what that means, that was a mothers of preschoolers group that a lot of churches would host. Mops is now rebranded and they're called Mom Co. But these are groups for young moms to get together, and oftentimes there's older women that come to these groups as well for like mentoring. And that was huge in my life. It was such a blessing in my life when my kids were little. What was interesting is we would finish our group and then we had a core group of leaders we would clean up and stuff. So our kids would be running around. And one day we were all, we had all decided we were going to go to McDonald's afterwards. We were gonna let the kids play. And I was very excited about this because I could actually spend some time with my leader mom friends. Well, one of the boys kept doing something, I don't even remember what it was, but his mom said, if you do that again, we're not going to McDonald's. Well, when she said it, I was like, oh dang, don't say that. I want you to go to McDonald's because I want to be able to talk to you and hang out with you today. Well, the little boy kept doing it. And again, I don't even remember what it was. And that young mom, my friend, she looked at her son and she was like, We are not going to McDonald's. And you guys, they did not go. And our mentor mom literally stopped us in the middle of all of it. And she was like, This is good parenting. This is a little boy that at 16, when his mom says something, he's gonna listen to her because she's she says what she means, and she means what she says. She follows through with what she says she's gonna do, and that matters. It establishes credibility, it establishes a respect, even that you don't even realize. And that story has stuck with me, and I it impacted my parenting at the time. And now all these years later, I'm looking back, and it was literally one of the best pieces of advice that anybody ever gave me. So that was my one piece of advice that I passed on to this to this young mom. But two other things had kind of popped in my mind also, and I want to talk about those for just a second. The second thing that had popped into my mind was make your marriage your priority. That's what it was. Like, make your marriage your priority. I cannot stress this enough that your spouse has to come before your children. And when I say that, I I know that there is a time in this young mom, too, with her kids' ages, in this season of life, your kids are gonna require more time than your husband does. A hundred percent. But you have to make sure you stay connected as a husband and wife. A lot of times there will be people saying you have to go on a date every week, you have to do whatever. I'm not even gonna put that pressure on you. I'm just gonna say you have to talk to your spouse at least 20 to 30 minutes a day, every day. That can be on a commute where you're in the car and you're just catching up about each other's days. That could be at night, uh, that could even be like not even talking, but you know, a romantic connection. But you have to stay connected to your spouse. It is extremely important. Matt and I were months away from being empty nesters. And it's just going to be us again. And I am so thankful that I am not staring at my husband thinking, who is he? He's a stranger. Like we haven't stayed connected. Have there been difficult seasons? Absolutely. Have there been seasons that the kids require more of us than we can give to each other? Absolutely, there have been. But we would always stay connected, that 20 or 30 minutes a day, always talking, and we would remind each other. Like I would say to him, I miss you. I wish we could just literally go on a date, but we can't afford it. I'm too tired and I don't want to get dressed. But I need you to know, like, I miss you. And one day we're gonna have more time together. You know, those are the kinds of conversations that we would have, just so he knew. Um, life is hard, things pop up, and you have to be a team, you and your spouse. And so that's some other advice that I would have given. But she she really asked me for advice as a mom, which is why I didn't go with that one. But it was it was right up there in my mind. The third thing I thought about was this don't lose your connection to Jesus. And and that will keep you mentally healthy, that's gonna keep you grounded, that's gonna keep you solid when the waves of storms come your way, because they are parenting's gonna get hard, your marriage is gonna get hard. And really, this is again, I didn't say this because she was asking as a mom, kind of like mom advice with your kids. So that's why I went with the piece of advice that I could, but but this really stuck in my mind as something that is so important. Don't lose your way. Don't lose your way with Jesus, your foundation. Um, you have to be content with just you and Jesus. You have to be uh, you have to feel peace at how you're living your life, how you're responding to your husband, how you're responding to your kids. When you lay your head on the pillow at night, you have to have peace with Jesus. You have to be willing to be humbled and be convicted when you do something wrong and apologize. This is all so important because it is creating a tone and a culture in your home that will either make your kids thrive or will make them not want to come home when they get older. And you have to be thinking about that. That's the something that I never really thought about until my kids were older. You are growing children to leave. And they get a choice if they want to come home and visit you or not. And would you want to come home and visit your home? I say this because, you know, if we're not at peace, you know, if I'm not walking with Jesus and he's keeping me in check with my emotions, my anger, my outburst, uh, my jealousy, my whatever it is that the flesh sins that I'm struggling with. If he's not keeping me in check, then more than likely the home is not gonna be, it's not gonna feel like a safe place. Because, because let's just be real. Moms and dads are leaders in the home. We set the tone of the culture. And so the more we are connected to Jesus, the more we are peaceful, the more we are calm, the safer our homes can feel. So again, I thought this was a great question. If you have been participating in the QA on our Instagram stories, thank you. If you have not, check it out. I just love hearing from other people and what they're struggling with. And we're a community. You're not alone. Uh, we want to come alongside of you and help you in any way we can. Uh, what I also want to say about those QAs, like they're they're questions for me, yes, but but you could chime in. You could chime in and say, hey, this is what I do in this situation or whatever, and we can share information with each other. That's what a community is about. We're learning together. So um join us on those QA's, keep sending them to me. And when one pops out like this, this one was a really good question, and it stumped me for a while. Like I had to take a moment and pray and think through how I really wanted to respond because one piece of advice looking back is that's hard to narrow down. But um, but but those three things really did come to mind, and I wanted to do this podcast just to kind of expand on the second and third thing that I was thinking about too. So my original response was follow through with what you say. My add-ons were number two, put your marriage before your kids, and number three, make sure you stay connected to Jesus. I hope this is helpful.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

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