Kristina Fields, LMFT: The “iPad Kid” Trend and Reducing Screen Time

If you’ve ever relied on a screen to get through a busy moment, you’re not alone—and you’re not a bad parent. 

In this episode, Mandy Majors is joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Kristina M. Fields, MS, LMFT, to talk about the growing “iPad kid” trend and what it means for young children. 

Together, they unpack how early screen habits impact brain development, emotional regulation, and behavior—and why giving kids their own device can quickly turn screens into the default. 

You’ll walk away with practical, realistic strategies you can use right away, including: 

• A simple “activity table” idea that replaces screens in the morning  
• Easy, low-prep activities for home, restaurants, and waiting rooms  
• How to scale back screen time without overwhelming your child  
• Why consistency (even when it’s hard) pays off long-term  
• How your own screen habits influence your kids  

This episode is full of encouragement, not guilt—and offers real help for parents navigating screens in everyday life. 

Breaking the Fast Dopamine Cycle with Kristina Fields

Caller asks, “How do I keep my kids from playing on screens all summer?” - nextTalk 

Four reasons I kept screens out of my kid’s bedroom and bathroom - nextTalk 

Are Screens Changing Your Family Culture? - nextTalk 

“Anxious Generation” Book by Jonathan Haidt - nextTalk 

Teach Red Flag Reporting - nextTalk

Free Guide: Red Flag Reporting (Faith-Based) - nextTalk 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com  

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to the Next Talk Podcast. We are a nonprofit passionate about keeping kids safe online. We're learning together how to navigate tech, culture, and faith with our kids. On the podcast today, we have Christina Fields. She's been here before. She's a licensed professional counselor. You did a dopamine show that I'm still thinking about. Thanks for being here again. Oh, I'm so glad to be back, Mandy. For those who didn't see your last show, give us a little bit of background of who you are per personally and professionally.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Sure. So I am a wife and a mother of two wonderful children. I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old, a boy and a girl. Professionally, I work at UT Health San Antonio in the Department of Psychiatry. I um work in child psychiatry there. And by trade, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Defining The iPad Kid

SPEAKER_02 0:56

Thank you so much. Uh last time we were talking about the dopamine that's hitting our kids' brains and our brains. Yes. Just the constant intake. And um on that show, we were talking about, I said, okay, Christina, as an LPC, how do you take this into your living room and translate it into your parenting? And, you know, you gave some great tips on the show, but then afterwards we got to talking even more. And I was like, okay, we got to have you back on. The subject I want to talk about today is something that's kind of trending and you hear a lot about iPad kits. So first I want to define what you would say an iPad kit is, because I think the definition, it's a slang word that's kind of being thrown around and people may define it differently. So when we say iPad kid, what what how would you define that?

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Yeah, I um sometimes I feel like it may be a little controversial when people ask me this question. And it's funny, I actually get asked quite often, oh, so you don't have iPad kids once they learn about what I do. Um, but for me, an iPad kid is a kid who has their own iPad. It's theirs, they have access to it, even if it's restricted. Um, I'm not saying that's good or bad, right? But I I think it's a kid who has an iPad. Personally, um, I've chosen not to get my kids' iPads. I think when you provide them something that's theirs, right? They've I think it makes for an ease of access to it. Like, oh, can I have my iPad? Can I, you know, have this? Can I have that? And I think it makes it a little easier almost to get it to them. Where my family, I have my own tablet and my kids know if we travel or you know, other maybe special occasions, um, they can use my tablet to watch movies or I have a couple of games on there for them as well. And again, at three and five years old, I just don't see the need for them to have it at that age.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

I love your definition of this. So I want to clarify it doesn't mean your kids have zero screen time. Oh, absolutely not. It's just screen time is not the default, right? And it's a special time and it you're very intentional about when you're allowing them to have screens. Absolutely. Whether it be a tablet, a TV, whatever that screen may be.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Yeah, so my kids absolutely get screen time. Um, Friday night is movie night and they know it and never forget it. Uh of course, during the weekends, we do a little TV time, um, little shows, but but again, it's it's on our TV, um, even like YouTube things like that, because there's a big difference when you actually have a small screen in your face developmentally, that's not um necessarily helpful for them developmentally, especially even um with their eye development. So there is some data out there that's showing the correlation of nearsightedness in kids who have their screens and faces because we actually need for the development of our vision to have that actually more outdoors time leads to better vision when you're young because you get that long, you know, range shot. And so screens, the closer the screens are, your phone, your um, your iPad are actually not the best way to uh engage with uh screens. I prefer much more we have a screen on our wall in our uh living room, and that's where they get their screen time when they do.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Well, and I love even with advances in technology like screen mirroring, you could even screen mirror your phone and put up something for them to watch on the screen. And so there's ways around them, not just having this tiny device right in front of them. Yeah, very close up. I love that. Okay, so you've told me before, I'm not raising an iPad kid. And I've kind of questioned you on that. Well, does that mean no screen time or what? And so we've kind of defined what we are saying that is limited, not default, to screen time. And one of the things I want to point out is you are you and your husband both work outside the home. You both have very demanding jobs. You're a LPC and he's an attorney. And so, but you have made this commitment as a family to pour into your kids in this way and make sure that the screen doesn't become a babysitter.

Making Screens Special Not Default

SPEAKER_01 5:21

I say it's been trial and error, though, too. Like we're not perfect by any means. Um, you know, so if anybody ever sees me out in public and my kids have a screen, don't judge me. I think there's a time and a place. You know, even the beginning of the school year, we mornings are crazy. You know, you're everybody's trying to get out the door, everybody's trying to get to school. Um, and in order to kind of keep them, you know, in one place, I got in the habit actually of putting on like a show, right? And again, not they don't have tablets, but it's on our TV. And we were doing that probably for a good couple of months, where I would, they would have a show in the morning. And I could, and again, I know what I know, but it was just convenience. And sometimes that's what I think what it comes down to. But I noticed, right, kind of more dysregulation, more difficulty getting out the door in the morning. They would ask for more TV time and screens when they would come home. And so I was like, we need this is not good, right? We need to make a switch. And so I I had let them know we're not gonna do TV time anymore in the morning before school. Instead, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna have an activity for you. And I was just, I was making this up, right? Um, and so they're like, oh, like an activity, you know. And so the next morning when they came down, we have our dining room table and I would set up, and truly it's I'd pull out an old toy maybe they hadn't played with with a while, or some blocks, or some, you know, coloring books they haven't seen in a while. And every day I would just, you know, it takes two seconds. I would throw something else on that table. And I cannot tell you how much they would look forward to that. Now, the first few weeks, you know, wait, what about our TV? And this and that. So there, I think there's always kind of that detox period. And I tell that to all parents that are starting to reduce that screen time. But over time they grew to look forward to it. And on the days I forgot to put something on the table, mom, like, where's our activity? Where's our activity? And so it was just kind of mind mind-boggling to me, like how they didn't need the screen time or the TV, that they just found something, were able to be creative and able to, you know, start playing or engaging with each other. And they absorb that and love it. And uh, now sometimes if I, you know, forget to put something out on the table, my son will go do it. And mom, look what I did. I set up activity time for him and his sister. Um, and so it's it's so sweet, I think, just to see how adapt, like they're just they're so adaptable to, you know, different ways and new ways. Um, and just change that. It's it's truly surprised me quite a bit.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

Okay, so I love this on a couple levels. Okay, first of all, you didn't make this a big deal. It wasn't like you had to research a lesson plan or anything like that. This was just simple things lying around your house that you're like, they haven't played with this puzzle or this game for a while. Let me just set that out and see what happens. Exactly. Yeah. Okay, and the other thing is I guess this activity of what they're doing then allows you to go get ready. Yes. And has the them being at the table versus them in a watching a screen, how is that with you getting ready? It's allowed you to still get ready. There's not a lot of interruptions.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Absolutely. They sit there and I mean, I mean, they're still three and five years old. So occasionally, you know, somebody took my something, you know, or what or whatnot, but nothing significant. Like I feel like truly our morning would would go more smoothly because they were more eager for their activity. And so they would want to get ready and, you know, finish their breakfast and do all of those things to get to that activity. And then getting them out the door was much easier, that disconnect, right? Because the screen and the dopamine, right? So we talked about that last time where screens and TV can give you that fast acting, you know, dopamine, where that's harder to disconnect from. Where when I have these activities for them, you know, that's that's the slow dopamine. They're working towards something. So oftentimes they'd be like, mom, don't, you know, don't touch my, you know, tower or coloring or whatever they were working on because I want to finish it when I come home, you know. And so I was like, yeah, of course. You know, and so it was easier for them to disconnect and go off to school.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

I mean, I could see how it could be easier to get out the door with them. Because, like, just if you think about it, if you cuddle up on the couch and start watching something, then it's like you don't want to leave. Yeah. And so it's harder to get your body going where you're you're getting their brain functioning. And so it's almost like, okay, let's get ready for the day. Let's get out the door. I could totally see how that shift could happen. It sounds kind of overwhelming at first, but hearing you talk about it, now I'm like, well, this makes perfect sense. Looking back, I'm like, that was way too easy.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

Yeah. And now that my, you know, my five-year-old is, you know, hey, you know, go put an activity out for you. And he loves that, right? Because, oh, it's his responsibility now. So it's been fun to watch them because I think it's also kind of snowballed into how they react and respond in the rest of their week. So I'll say this too. One thing I've noticed is even just eliminating that little bit of TV in the morning, they stopped asking for it when they would come home or wanting screens when they would come home. And we're at a place now where they truly don't. And again, this is just us. So it's, you know, if people, you know, every it's gonna look different for everybody, but they don't get screens during the weekday. And it's not even a I attempt that, it's they don't ask for it because they come home and they engage more with their toys and their coloring or their activity that they're picking back up. And it's, I feel like it's almost propelled them to this place of just more creativity and discovery and learning and shared play that it's made it incredibly easy for me, where I almost expect them to come home. And I'm like, okay, if I just give them a little bit of time, I can get dinner done. And they'll just start playing. And so I have to stop myself and just be like, okay, like just let them let them go. And so it's been really rewarding to see that. I feel like they're almost my little test subjects.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

That's how I felt for all those years. But you know, looking back on our life, so the iPad came out roughly in 2010, and my kids were both at that point, they were um three and uh six, you know, and so we didn't have the option for quite a while.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

Right.

Brain Development And Restaurant Habits

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Uh, and we did start with a family iPad, they didn't have their own devices for a very long time. And so we had a family iPad, but but even then they were much older. And I didn't have the go-to of just putting them in front of an iPad. But I can see how it would be easily a default, you know, when you're overwhelmed. I remember one time we went to a restaurant, my son was six months old, like we still laugh about it. But we were at Outback and he took his sippy cup and hauled it all the way across the restaurant. It landed right in the middle of this table by this guy's cheese fries. And I look at my husband and I'm like, I'm not going over there. Like, you've got to go. You've got to go apologize. And so, of course, my husband gets up and he's like, I'm so sorry, sir. And thankfully the man was so sweet, he goes, Man, that kid has an arm. He's got a he's got a future in sports. Love that. You know, but I and and I remember that night, Matt and I said, We're not going to a restaurant probably for six months or a year. We'll just get takeout because it's just too stressful. You know, that they can't. And so if an iPad would have had an option, we probably on a busy night would have been like, let's go to a restaurant. They can just watch the iPad while we're at the restaurant. It's it's very easy and it feels convenient. But I think also if you zoom out and look at the bigger picture, you know, if that's just their default all the time, then it does create this. I don't know, this um uh you maybe you can speak into it as a counselor, just this always wanting it, always wanting that dopamine hit, not really using your brain for creativity, like you said, in discovery. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

And so early childhood, you know, you're you're up into the age about five, your brain is just blossoming. It's growing, it's um building kind of all of these connections, uh, which we refer to as um white matter of the brain. And there's actually research, right, as we're getting to now really study these kids of a correlation between kids who are heavy screen users and that that white matter is not being developed as strongly. And what that is, it's that's the language, emotional regulation, patience, because that white matter is what helps to connect, right? The pieces, kind of the processing centers of the brain to kind of help them work through a situation. And so when that's underdeveloped, they can't sit still, they can't communicate maybe what they need. They don't have that emotional regulation. Um, that patience isn't developed. And so we steal their, we're stealing their opportunities because how does how does that grow? How do how does that solidify? Is through interaction, is through play, is through, you know, building a tower and watching it fall. And like, how am I gonna respond to that? Am I gonna cry or am I gonna try again? Right. And so as they, you know, build these skills, like we and if we start incorporating more screen time, we we kind of prohibit them their the time and ability that kids previously who didn't have access to screens were able to do. And I think the same as, you know, in restaurants, we and I agree with you, there's a point in time at a certain age where you know your kid can't handle it. We did the same thing. No restaurants for us, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Or that's the iPad time, and then they just don't get it at home, right? Like you can pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

And sometimes you have to go to the restaurant because something is happening. Yeah. Right. And so, but it is those those situations though that these are also great learning, like time for them to be able to go to a restaurant and learn how to sit and how to be patient, how to have a conversation. Because I tell you, it breaks my heart. Um, I went to a restaurant recently, I mean a couple months ago with my son, and he's five. And he, you know, had a little toy with him, but we sat and we just chatted. And, you know, over next to us was it was a grandmother, and I assume her grandson. And he was like this in his, you know, it was her phone actually. Um, and he didn't even eat his food, and she kept nudging him, you know, to eat your food or to talk and engage. And it was, it was just, it was heartbreaking. And it's building those small habits, right? With my son who's five and like having a conversation. We were drawing and we were, you know, doing that at the table because, you know, when I have teenagers, I want them to be able to sit through a meal with people and not with the screens. And so I do think there is, you know, a level of we have to put them in those situations too, to so that they can learn. I will say, I'm not like I there is a time I think in a restaurant where, you know, um, I will flip out my phone, especially for my three-year-old. Sometimes things are out of our control. Yeah. The restaurant takes forever, you know, and you're there like two hours. You you never set up, I was told a long time ago, I read in a book, don't set up your child for failure, right? I can't expect a three-year-old to be quiet in a restaurant for two hours. And so once she's, you know, had her fill of her activities and food, okay, let's put on a little show or something so we can get through this meal. So again, we're I'm not completely against it. I think there's a time and the place, but be careful for it to not be that default.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Yeah, yeah. You're just so intentional with their screen time, and I think that's what's so important. So if there are parents out there who have young kids and they don't have an iPad yet and they're struggling to do activities, what give us some ideas of what else that you do? I love the idea of just a toy, an old toy laying around or old coloring books, and you you set something up every morning for them and now they look forward to it. And I love that your son is now like the leader of that. Like he said, like that's amazing. That's amazing. So, what are some other things that you do?

Low Prep Activities That Work

SPEAKER_01 18:09

You know, it's true. I think what they say, you know, um, the stories of, you know, what's the point of buying kids all these toys when if you just give them a box, right? They're gonna, you know, at Christmas time, it's like, there's all your toys. Oh, but you want to play with this box, right? Or um balloons. Uh, my parents were over a lot the other night and they blew up, they brought them just balloons and blew them up and they had a blast. Like it is, I think we underestimate how much kids need. It can be the simplest things. And I think over time, and again, the more that you you allow them to engage and you know, create and play, they only become better at it where they can take a stick and a rock, and you know, all of a sudden they're people, you know, and you know, their food becomes little people too, maybe which we try to discourage right now, but like their creativity begins to explode and you see it in these small ways. Um, and that and that's kind of leading back to what I said is when I noticed when I cut up more of that TV, I started seeing that how easy how much more easy it was for them to just get their toys and play. And I didn't need anything new or exciting. Um occasionally I'll take them to the dollar store and let them like pick out some different coloring books or toys or activities and things like that. Cause I I have those, the, these bags that I'll um kind of my like go-to bags if we go to restaurants or um a doctor's office visit or somewhere where I know we'll be waiting. And I kind of have these like little bags set up that I'll take with them that hold activities. Um, and so we'll go to the store and I'll let them pick out things like that. But it's I don't think there's anything special or anything. I think sometimes we think it needs to be. But kids are so simple and so creative.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

We have, okay, you brought some of these bags for us. Can you show us what they look like? Because you were telling me too that you have you put bags in your pantry. Yeah. And so when you have downtime at home, so this can be anytime. Like you were talking about getting ready in the morning. It also could be while you're making dinner, or maybe you have to be on the phone making some appointments or whatever, and you need to just keep the kids busy. You had these bags in your pantry and they get to go pick out what they want. So these are just activity bags and you refresh them so many times.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Yeah, every now and then when they start to get messy or or used, I will go through them and clean them up a little bit. Um, but they're just these bags, right? That I I've purchased from Amazon and I stuffed a few of them in here. Whenever we run out to a like a restaurant or, like I said, a doctor's appointment, or even, you know, going to somebody's house. You something, something where I know, right? They're gonna need a little something to do, something to keep them entertained. Um, they yes, they know to at the house if you know they know where they exist so that they can go pull them if needed as well. But they're I love them because they're just these little like ziploc bags. So, like, you know, one has magnet tiles, which are great. They're mini magnet tiles, like for the restaurants and things like that. I think one of these is a Chick-fil-A some something from like kids' meal, like coloring pad. And one's the something from H E B gave us like a bookmark to color. Right. So I'll take those, like, you know, kids will pick up little trinkets along the way. I'll take those and put them in a bag and save it for, you know, an activity that they'll do one day. That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

I don't know how many times that they those would end up under my car seat or in the trash or somewhere, and they would never even use them. Yep, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

So smart. I started just or people bring them little things, you know. So I'll if they're good bag materials, I'll do that. I always have bubbles if we're gonna be outdoors or outdoor restaurant things like that.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Sidewalk chalk was always a big hit. It's messy, but sidewalk chalk is good if you know they're gonna get a bath afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Um the water color books, you color with water, they love, they love these. Um I've gotten my son highlights recently and he's obsessed with it. So he always has his little highlights and you know, pictures, picture search searches. Again, just a good old-fashioned dollar store coloring book and a little box of crayons. And so, again, all of these, you know, kind of sit separately in just this white basket that I have in my pantry. And whenever we're going to a restaurant or my son has sports that my daughter has to sit and wait for him for, I'll put that in his little sports bag so that there's something there for her. Um, but it makes the world of a difference because it, it, it, it works and it keeps them entertained. I think snacks help too. I always bring some snacks are great.

How To Reduce Screens Without Chaos

SPEAKER_02 23:03

What I love about that is it doesn't take a ton of time. The bags are sitting there. They get to pick out what they want to work on. And you take them to the dollar store and they get to pick out stuff like a treat day or whatever, and those go into the bags. Like I could even see your five-year-old how he would be like, let me be in charge of the bags, let me get this activity ready. And again, we're not saying no screens ever, but the default here is the activity, the physical, simple childhood activity. And then the second layer would be if you're at a doctor's appointment and you've been there a long time and they've already done the activity, you have your phone and then you have some kid-friendly games on that and you have it available. But I think the difference with the iPad kit is the first default is the activity, the childhood creative activity and not the iPad. Yes, I would, I would agree with that. Absolutely. What would what do you want to say to any parent out there who they may have given the screen and they're gonna have to reel it back a bit? So say they've got a five-year-old, which is your your age of your kid, and the five-year-old has their own iPad. It's it's a lot of screen time, and they're already saying, I want to go back. I I just want to say, first of all, like give yourself some grace because we're all figuring this out. But what would you say after that?

SPEAKER_01 24:36

My goal is to always meet somebody where they're at. So I understand, like, you know, everybody's home is gonna look differently, and no judgment to that. We are all trying to survive parenthood, right? And so scaling it back, I think, can feel daunting and difficult because a kid's emotional response to that is going often to be very great, especially if it's something that they're very used to. Um, and that's been easy, right, for them. And so I think be prepared in the sense that you're gonna have tears and you're gonna have, right, a kid who's dysregulated and upset. And that's okay, right? That is okay. Um, they will recover from that. And again, I think that's where you get to introduce some of the toys, play with them. I think that's really important in early childhood. Parents intently playing with their kids free of distractions, free distractions, free of screens. You model play, how to play, you know, what proper play looks like. And so to have that intentional time helps them to build those skills. And then they get to the point where they can do it on their own, right? And that reward will pay off. I'll say that detox window can be a couple weeks to a month, just depending on, you know, how intense that connection was to the device. And so that can be really difficult. But I think if you stay um consistent, it will pay off. And I promise you, it is a lot easier to take away an iPad or a screen from a five-year-old than it's going to be a 15-year-old. And I say that because right, if you live in these patterns, you're often going to result in those teenagers that are just on their phone 10 hours a day. And that is a lot harder to navigate. And so I think that early intervention is key starting early. Um, one thing with my son, as he is getting older, I can I can give some examples of the types of screens that I do allow him. Um, so we do allow the TV. Uh, another one, he has. I I bought him this, it kind of looks like a Game Boy Nintendo kind of game. It's no internet. The graphics are very low. It's like Tetris or, you know, those kind of older school games, but it's a little game console. And so, you know, that's his video games. And so he gets so excited about it. And so it's kind of this like low res, low stimulation introduction to video game. And occasionally he gets to play it and then, you know, okay, 15 minutes, you know, whatever the time that is that I give him. And then I say, okay, your time's up. You need to return it to me. And one of the things that I would tell him is if you are unable to return it to me, you know, without tears and crying and screaming and all of that, then I'm gonna take it away for a long time. And so the first couple of times that happened, right? Because their brains are not developed yet. They're, they don't have the capacity to understand and make those connections, right? And um, and I would take it away for like a month, right? And then I'd reintroduce it and kind of see and gauge where he was at and his emotional response and his ability to be able to return it. And maybe after a couple of times he learned, like, okay, like when the time's up, the time's up. And so now when he does get to play it, that or you know, um another video, it's like a it's a YouTube video game called Brain Bank on uh YouTube, which I highly recommend. It makes them think they're playing video games, but they're like running and jumping. It's it's a wonderful, it's wonderful video game that they're not really playing, but they just don't know. And so he knows though, when it's time to turn off, he's so much more regulated because he's learned the consequence that if he's not, then you won't get it again for a long time. And so I think it's also that consequence to okay, if you're gonna, you know, have this a reaction, then hey, your brain's not ready um to handle this yet. And so they begin to learn, like, okay, like I have to be able to, you know, navigate this so that I can get it again. Um, and so I think that's been really helpful for us too.

Modeling Phone Use As Parents

SPEAKER_02 29:03

That is so good that that regulation of them learning when it's time to turn it off. And the other thing too, you know, when we think about iPad kids, what makes me even more sad is when we have iPad adults, screen addicted adults. Oh, yeah. Because we truly are the model in our home. And if you will just speak into that, I mean, what your kids see out of you is going to impact their screen time and how they respond to it as well. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

They are always watching. Um, if me or my husband have our phones out for any reason, sure enough, like, you know, here, especially my son, right at his age, what are you doing? What's that? Ooh, what's that, right? They want to touch it, they want to interact with it. And so I do think it is so important that what we are modeling um is what we want to see in them, right? As they grow up. And eventually one day, you know, we'll have a phone. And so I try to be really mindful what that looks like, not having my phone around them. If I do, I tell them what it is I'm doing. Oh, I'm messaging, you know, Nana because she's coming over later, your grandma. Or I'm, you know, looking up, right? Because I think when they understand that there's purpose behind what you're doing too, it helps them to make that connection. Um, and so we're we're real, we're really careful about that. Sometimes at night, my son will like sneak downstairs after he's been to bed. And, you know, it's the end of the night. Me and my husband are totally there, right? Guilty of scrolling on our phones. And as soon as we hear that pitter patter, we both like tuck him away because right, we just don't want to give him that percept perception that this is what we're doing when you go to sleep. And so um, again, I think it's that uh that appearance and and what they see speaks volumes.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

One of the things that I really liked that you said was you explained to them why you were on your phone. I think that's so great in helping build open communication. You know, I grew up in the generation of because I said so, I'm the parent, just I don't have to explain myself to you. And it's so I cannot stress enough how important it is to move out of that mindset. Yes, you are the parent. Yes, you are the model, yes, you are the adult in the room, but you can also be kind and explain why you're on your phone. And it, I know through the years it has just gone, it has just helped the relationship with my kids so much. So I did want to point that out. Um, and then you know, your your experience as a mom, a young mom, and a and a counselor, they just marry so well together. Um, and what else? Is there anything else as we wrap up this show that you would like to encourage parents about?

SPEAKER_01 31:51

I think be patient with yourselves. I think you know, the the world of tech and social media and and screens just hit us all so quickly. And we still have so much to learn and figure out about it. So being patient with yourself, um, educating yourself. And truly, if you have littles in your home, the sooner the better, right? If you can teach them those skills at a young age, it will pay off so much as they get older. Because I see a lot of the teenagers, the 15-year-old, 16-year-old, 17-year-olds, and it is a battle to try and regulate screens and phones and technology in the home because it was something they just grew up with and it was just so easy, right? And then it impacts their school and their relationships, and you know, they get into some really sticky situations online. And so the sooner that we can help teach our kiddos, you know, about screens and kind of regulating that in their lives and helping them to understand, you know, I in our last episode, I talked a lot about, you know, what's good for the brain and what's not good for the brain and helping them right in their in their little minds begin to make those connections, it it will pay off. Um, and the trajectory of that is going to make your life easier. And I know it's chaotic and I know it's a lot to have children in the home. Um, and it's easy to get them, you know, to sit still and in a screen. But I think when you allow them to play and to, you know, just get creative as as they grow into that. And again, I've seen this, you know, in my own little, like I said, test subjects, that their ability to do that, I mean, they they will do that for hours. And it's so much better than than any screen and their ability to just sit and create. And so the payoff is there, I think is what I'm trying to say. The payoff is there. It just may take a little bit, it may hurt a little bit, it may be uncomfortable. Um, but it is so worth it.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

It is, it is. And I would just add to that, you know, we we both see a lot of teenagers really struggling with their screens. And, you know, I have seen God do miracles in the lives of these teenagers, but it is a process. And I do think it's a it's a harder, much harder process. Um, there is always hope and it's always uh you're always able to break the habit, but it is harder when it has been for years that's been your daily habit. Yeah. And so the younger you can start breaking that that screen habit as the first default, the better.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

Absolutely. I would completely agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 34:55

Well, thank you for being here, Christina. It's been great. Always, always happy to have you on the Next Talk podcast. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

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